America the Stranger
“Woke up with a hangover in a stranger’s bed, but the stranger was America. ”
I know it’s not over, and millions of good people have worked hard and been strong and brave and voted to end this nightmare, but the very fact that it’s this close is a sickening indictment of our nation. Right now I’m feeling weary and very disillusioned, and like many of us, I’m a little short on sleep. So forgive me if this post doesn’t turn out to be particularly lucid, but writing is how I process things, and we are going through a lot.
Predictably, Trump is doing everything he can to undermine the process and create more conflict and confusion. And despite voter suppression and cheating, Biden will likely win, a victory for truth and democracy. As far as seats in the House and Senate, there are a lot of disappointments. So here we are, wherever this is.
We have been traumatized for four years, and we’ve worked hard, and it just feels like the story is supposed to have a happier, more decisive resolution, but perhaps I allowed myself to feel too hopeful. I was hungering for a blue landslide, an unequivocal repudiation of this horrible regime. It would be affirmative and heart-warming and herald in a new era. I wanted it so much, I had somehow begun to believe it would happen.
Now I see it’s a slower and messier process than that even to regain our footing and begin undoing the damage and healing the wounds, particularly with such desperate and unscrupulous people holding onto power. And we must face the fact that nearly half of the country inhabits an alternate reality. The voters who supported Trump are still with us, and the rift seems unbridgeable.
Another significant takeaway: the Electoral College system has to go. It allows for a mostly rural minority to tyrannize us all. If it were just a matter of winning the popular vote, Biden would have rode in easily. (I read somewhere that he has already received more votes than any Presidential candidate in American history. ) But how do we change that system, which has become the opposite of democracy? The GOP owns the Court. What recourse do we have? What steps can we take?
Meanwhile, our very planet is in peril, a rather fundamental issue that gets muffled in the noise. Can we mention this growing threat and ever-present sense of loss? (It just so happens that today is the very day that the U.S. officially withdraws from the Paris Climate Agreement.) Not to mention, of course, that the U.S. recorded over 100,000 new coronavirus cases in a single day today, grim testimonial to a grossly mishandled pandemic. No need to list all the crimes and transgressions of Trump and his enablers…somehow millions of our fellow Americans are fine with it, and even more than fine, fiercely devoted. That’s a painful fact to ingest.
I want to learn something from all this, and I want to apply the wisdom. My dear friend Kelley asked if I had any insights, and I’m trying to shape my emotions into useful thought, but I’m coming up short. I guess if I were to give myself advice, I’d first say let’s act like winners, because I believe we have won, even if it wasn’t as glorious as we had hoped and didn’t align with the rage we have felt. And let’s remember to be patient...it’s a long game. And let’s continue to do what we know is right, and be kind and caring in our own lives, and positively affect that which we can impact.
And maybe let’s look at it this way: even in the face of brazen manipulation, suppression, and lies, we are on the cusp of an historic victory. (Votes are still being counted, and I don’t want to jinx it, but it’s looking good in this moment.) And lots of poor people and young people and tired people stepped up when needed, many standing in long lines to vote. It’s true that nearly half of the American electorate endorsed a sociopath, and that’s a depressing reality, but I guess we need to hold in our hearts the millions who stood up in opposition, and be our best selves on their behalf. Maybe the ugly fact of pervasive racism has become more visible to us. And the country is changing...whatever the outcomes, I think it’s been remarkable to see states like Georgia and North Carolina being viewed as battleground or swing states.
We need to recalibrate. Long view. No one said it would be easy.
And when Joe’s victory and Trump’s loss are officially announced, won’t that be a great boost? Maybe some latent joy will well up in our hearts, and we can dust ourselves off and move forward.